Description
The Dragon Friends came so close to their final destination, but have faced a final, deadly hurdle. Can they guile their way back home from the literal depths of hell.
Synopsis
The Dragon Friends make their way towards the Iron City, led by the damned soul of Australian podcaster Ben Jenkins. Ben explains he has little choice since he’s been forced to wear an enchanted collar which will attract flying blades if he disobeys his orders, an idea Pater Terra got from Ben’s descriptions of Wild Wild West. Since only Freezo has a disguise, Bobby hatches a plan for the rest of them to pretend they are extra forbidden snacks...but only Bobby is small enough to be carried on the tray.
Ben reveals that the party in the Garden of Immoral Delights is being held in honour of the Engine Mistress of Dis. The River Styx has long since dried up, and there’s now a train line, the Terminal Grand, that ferries souls between the Circles of Hell on a service that runs once a year. (Charon got a job at the post office.) The train arrives and new souls are ushered out, Ben warning the others to keep their distance - new damned souls are “nasty”. Realising the food plan might not work, Bobby disguises himself as a small gorillon with a disguise self illusion, and Logan copies the shape of the silver wyrmling, and two young dragons sit on Bobby’s shoulders. With no magical options, Philge reverts to the original plan and dives onto the tray held by Ben as they reach the small demon doorman.
Freezo tries to bluff his way in, claiming he’s Pater Terra’s chief gimp; the doorman is surprised, as this is Demon Paul’s job, but the lie works - for Freezo. Bobby claims to be “Filius Terra”, the son of Pater Terra, and that the dragons are a gift from his father. The lie is so audacious that it works. The demon tries to introduce himself, but the Friends ignore him and enter the garden within the city. It’s full of demons of all kinds, and more lost souls carrying the plates, including Ben struggling to carry Philge. She slips off and joins the others, and go in search of the Engine Mistress in a nearby pagoda.
As they draw near, curtains are drawn and out of the pagoda comes Pater Terra, now larger with a crown of spikes and huge wings. He claps and welcomes the guests, reminding them that once every Faerun year the train arrives with a fresh batch of souls, and introduces the Engine Mistress: an automaton woman made of clockwork and steel, who joins Pater Terra on the stage. Freezo asks her what she’d like, but Pater Terra instantly recognises him. He reveals that he dragged Castle Ravenloft into Hell 600 years ago, two centuries after the Dragon Friends went back to sleep. The Mistress uses her power of true sight to find the others, but Pater Terra no longer cares what happens to them; he’s happy for them to just die in hell, poisoned by the fumes of the air. As Pater leaves, Logan asks the Mistress what she’s doing later. She scolds him for impudence…but also says she’s not doing anything.
Cast
Dragon Friends
- Dave Harmon as the Dungeon Master
- Ben Jenkins as various NPCs
- Alex Lee as Philge
- Simon Greiner as Bobby Pancakes
- Michael Hing as Freezo
Guest NPCs
- Tom Cardy as Logan the Huge, a container-sized tortle who easily imprints on other people
- Montaigne as the Engine Mistress, the clockwork demon who commands the Iron Engine (a train) which ferries souls between hell and Faerûn
NPCs
- Ben Jenkins (fictional)
- Pater Terra, a demon once summoned by Freezo who is now ruler of the Iron City of Dis
Hams
- Hamnote (presumed; not mentioned)
Bestiary
- Various demons
Places
- Dis, second layer of the Nine Hells
- The Iron City
Themes, tropes and running jokes
- The Limousine in Cyber Tokyo 2075 - almost invoked as “Ben Jenkins” asks the characters if they know Wild Wild West; they don’t, but Freezo says he knows who Will Smith is.
- Baffling Reference for our international listeners
- Ben gets Pater Terra’s name wrong and calls him “Terra Nullius”, the term used by the British to declare that Australia was unowned land so they could “legally” claim it. Indigenous peoples had lived (and continue to live) in Australia for many tens of thousands of years.
- Mulligrubs is an Australian children's television show hosted by a weird, high-energy, child-like disembodied face.
- SuperTed is a UK cartoon from the 1980s, based on a series of Welsh children's books. It was shown on ABC television in Australia. It told the story of a regular teddy bear who was thrown out for being defective; he's discovered by an alien "Spotty Man" (voiced by Doctor Who's Jon Pertwee), who brings him to Mother Nature. She takes pity on him and brings him to life, giving him a magic word that can transform him into a costumed superhero, defeating the schemes of an evil cowboy named Texas Pete.
- Gratuitous lists - Ben’s list of other demons who will be at the party of Unearthly Delights includes Jimmy the Demon, Demon Paul, Mr Sulfur and others.