Description
Welcome to Ironside, where the lasagne is plentiful and bards reviled. The Heroes of Yearth find themselves pulled deeper into the city, but can't shake the feeling that there's more to one of their companions than meets the eye.
Synopsis
In the square in Ironside, the people shuffle towards the castle in sombre mood. There’s heavily discounted Charion merch which has been shoddily modified to replace the mocking tone with “RIP Sweet Prince”, and suggesting Charion is responsible for many deaths.
Within the walls of the keep, the crowd assembles expectantly as an elderly couple - Charion’s parents - step out onto a balcony to address the crowd. His father is overcome with grief, and can barely speak; his mother says Charion was brave and caring, and implores the crowd to forgive him for his mistakes. Charion shouts out that he has never made a mistake, and his parents are taken aback. He climbs up to the balcony (on the second attempt), and his father is happy, in part because now he doesn’t have to lead his people to war to aid their allies, the elves. After a moment of confusion in which Charion announces he will kill the elves, and some confusion about who is being conscripted, the duke presents Charion as their new general, to which there is a “mixed reception” of boos. Charion tries to talk them around, and misunderstands their “jeer-like cheers”.
Polly and Dinner approach Darren, one of Charion’s detractors, and ask what the problem is. He says that Charion led a battalion of five hundred men to their deaths, but they don’t like to talk about the details. Dinner gets into a slight argument and calls Darren “a bit of a Charion” which nearly starts some serious violence. Charion comes back at that moment and invites his friends to the castle, but pointedly doesn’t include Darren, a childhood friend. Charion tells him that Ironside sucks compared to the outside world, and after a tense moment Polly and Dinner dack Darren and steal his money, turning the people against them too.
On the way up to the dining room, Dinner asks about the battle. Charion explains (as a hypothetical) that he was put in charge just because his dad is King, but he didn’t want a military career, he wanted to be a bard. But his Dad forced him into command without the benefit of military college. He thus blames his Dad for the soldiers’ deaths. Dinner sympathises, and Polly grudgingly admits that friends might agree, even if a military court wouldn’t. They tell Charion that he’s not alone…just before Dinner slips and falls down the stairs. Charion tries to help him up, but fails, giving them a moment to recall their first proper meeting back in the arena in Frostopolis.
At dinner, Charion’s parents bad-mouth bards, and Dinner says they sound cool. This exacerbates the duke’s sickness, which affects his accent, but eventually he explains that the elves have lit their warning fires, calling for aid from the forest. They tell Charion he will “do battle like a good boy”, which prompts Charion to renounce his dukeship. The duke reminds him this means losing the intergenerational wealth he covets, and Charion draws his swords. The duke thinks he is going to juggle, sending him on a new anti-bard tirade, but Charion instead throws down his swords. After the duke laments about the difficulty of being a dad, including how he tucked in an empty bed while Charion was away, Polly cries, thinking of her own children. She speaks up in Charion’s defence and tells the duke and duchess to listen to Charion’s beautiful voice, and he sings a beautiful song which changes their minds. His parents still think he is the best one to lead the army - but are now happy for him to do it as a bard, even a multi-class one. Charion picks up his swords again, and his mother tells him to put one down - it’s time to give him “that which is locked away”: a baby grand battle piano.
Cast
Heroes of Yearth
NPCs
- Mordecai Valariant, Duke of Ironguard and Charion's father
- Miriam Valariant, Duchess of Ironguard and Charion's mother
- Darren, a childhood “friend” of Charion
Bestiary
None.
Places
- The Autumn Lands
- Ironguard
- Castle Ironside
- Ironguard
Themes, tropes and running jokes
- You Fell Over Again Didn’t You? - Demi rolls for “the slipperiness of the stairs” and gets a 17, and falls down, landing at the bottom on his backpack. Demi rolls a critical fail on a subsequent Dex check, and so does Simon when trying to help Dinner up.
- Gratuitous Lists - Alex as Polly asks Darren for five ways Charion has wronged him and the people in general.
Trivia
- Michael Hing is absent for this episode due to illness; Sunbelt Gongbonger isn't mentioned, and is presumably still lying in the hole in Blind Tony's Lasagna and Swords Shop.
- Charion's parents names have changed since the Making of Yearth episodes; they were originally Grip and Valeria. The kingdom is named Ironguard, while the castle is Ironside, though here only Ironside and the Iron Woods are mentioned.
Quotes
- “Oh yeah, Dave would say no sometimes.” - Edan after Simon points out that Dave is in the audience and probably furious